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RULES OF THE ROAD INDIAN STYLE

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	RULES OF THE ROAD INDIAN STYLE

1. The assumption of immortality is required of all
road users.

2. Indian traffic, like Indian society, is structured
on a strict caste system. In descending order, give
way to: cows, elephants, eavy trucks, buses, official
cars, camels, buffalo, jeeps, ox-carts, private cars,
motorcycles, scooters, auto-rickshaws, pigs,
pedal-rickshaws, goats, bicycles (goods-carrying),
handcarts, bicycles (passenger-carrying), dogs,
pedestrians.

3. All vehicles shall be driven in accordance with the
following maxim: to slow is to falter, to brake is to
fail, to stop is to defeat.

4. Long blasts of the horn denote supplication - for
example, to an oncoming truck ("I am going too fast to
stop, so unless you slow down we shall both die"). A
single blast can mean "I have seen someone out of
Indias 870million people whom I recognise" or "I have
not blown my horn for several minutes".

5. All manoeuvres, use of horn and evasive action
shall be left until the last possible moment.

6. In the absence of seatbelts (which there is), car
occupants shall wear garlands of marigolds. These
should be kept fastened at all times.

7. Rights of way: Traffic entering a road from the
left has priority. As does traffic from the right, and
also traffic in the middle.

8. Overtaking is mandatory. Overtaking should only
happen in suitable conditions, such as in the face of
oncoming traffic, on blind bends, at junctions and in
the middle of villages/ city centres. No more than two
inches should be allowed between your vehicle and the
one you are passing - an inch in the case of bicycles
and pedestrians.

9. Nirvana may be obtained through a head-on crash.

10. Reversing: No longer applicable, as no vehicle in
India has reverse gear.

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