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Urinalysis

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	Subject: Urinalysis

 One day in line at the company cafeteria, Jack says
 to Mike behind him, "My elbow hurts like hell. I guess
 I better see a doctor." "Listen, you don't have to
 spend that kind of money," Mike replies.
 "There's a diagnostic computer at the drugstore at the
 corner. Just give it a urine sample and the
 computer'll tell you what's wrong and what to do about it.
 It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars...a hell of
 a lot cheaper than a doctor."

 So Jack deposits a urine sample in a small jar and
 takes it to the drugstore. He deposits ten dollars,
 and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours 
the
sample into the slot and waits.

Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout: You
 have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and
 avoid heavy acti! vity. It will improve in two weeks.

 That evening while thinking how amazing this new
 technology was, Jack began wondering if the computer
 could be fooled. He mixed some tap water, a stool
 sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife an
 daughter, and masturbated into the mixture for good
 measure.

 Jack hurries back to the drugstore, eager to check the
 results. He deposits ten dollars, pours in his
 concoction, and awaits the results.
 The compute prints the following:

 1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener.
 2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal
 shampoo.
 3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into
 reha
 4. Your wife is pregnant...twin girls. They aren't
 yours. Get a lawyer.
 5. If you don't stop playing with
 yourself, your elbow will never get better.

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