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Subject: Fw: Woman's Dictionary



Woman's Dictionary 

1.  "Fine" 

This is the word women use at the end of any argument when they feel 
they are right but can't stand to hear you argue any longer. It means 
that you should shut up. (NEVER use "fine" to describe how she 
looks.This will cause you to have one of those arguments.) 

2. "Five minutes" 

This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your 
football game is going to last before you take out the garbage, so women

feel that it's an even trade. 
  
3. "Nothing" 

"Nothing" means something and you should be on your toes."Nothing" is 
usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you 
inside out, upside down, and backwards. "Nothing" usually signifies an 
argument that will last "Five Minutes" and end with the word "Fine." 

4. "Go Ahead" (with raised eyebrows) 

This is NOT permission; it's a dare! If you mistake it for permission, 
the result will be the woman will get upset over "Nothing" and you'll 
have a "five-minute" discussion that will end with the word "Fine." 
  
5. "Go Ahead" (normal eyebrows) 

This is NOT permission, either. It means "I give up" or "do what you 
want because I don't care." You will get a raised eyebrow "Go Ahead" in 
just a few minutes, followed by "Nothing" and "Fine" and she will talk 
to you in about "Five Minutes" when she cools off. 

6. "Loud Sigh" 

This is not actually a word, but is still often a verbal statement.Very 
frequently misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are 
a complete idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here 
and arguing with you over "Nothing!." 

7. "Soft Sigh" 

Again, not a word, but a verbal statement. "Soft Sighs" are one of the 
few things that some men actually understand. It means she is 
momentarily content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe in the hope

that the moment will last a bit longer. 

8. "Oh" 

This word -- followed by any statement -- is trouble. Example;"Oh, let 
me get that". Or, "Oh, I talked to him about what you were doing last 
night." If she says "Oh" before a statement, run, do 
not walk, to the nearest exit. She will tell you that she is "Fine" when

she is done tossing your 
clothes out the window, but do not expect her to talk to you for at 
least two days. ("Oh" as the lead to a sentence usually signifies that 
you are caught in a lie. Do not try to lie more to get out of it, or you

will get a raised eyebrow. "Go ahead,"sometimes followed by acts so 
unspeakable that I can't bring myself to write about them. 

9. "That's Okay" 

This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can say to a 
man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before 
deciding what the penalty will be for whatever you have done. "That's 
Okay" is often used with the word "Fine" and in conjunction 
with a raised eyebrow "Go Ahead." Once she has had time to plan it out, 
you are in for some 
mighty big trouble. 

10. "Please Do" 

This is not a statement, it is an offer. The woman is giving you the 
chance to come up with an excuse for what you have done. In other words,

a chance to get yourself into even more trouble. If you handle this 
correctly, you shouldn't get a "That's Okay." 

11. "Thanks" 

The woman is thanking you. Don't faint and don't look for hidden 
meaning. Just say "you're welcome." 

12. "Thanks A Lot" 

"Thanks A Lot" is dramatically different from "Thanks." A woman will say

"Thanks A Lot" when she is really ticked off at you. It is usually 
followed by the "Loud Sigh." This signifies that you 
have hurt her in some callous way. Be careful not to ask what is wrong 
after the "Loud Sigh," as she will only tell you "Nothing." 

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